Finding and Eliminating Limiting Values
It’s strange that as I was studying positive thinking the other day, that one of my coworkers passed by, talking about positivity. It really shows how people do think about these things and how we want to be positive.
Positive thinking can boost creativity and open vast new unexplored potential and opportunity in life, yet why is it we roar ahead sometimes and then come crashing down? That last great recession sure brought me crashing down hard. But I got back up nicely again.
Are you down or coasting right now? A lot of people are. Why?
If negative, limited values and attitudes are making happiness impossible, then perhaps identifying them might zap them of their power. Then you’re free to find happiness and keep it a consistent part of your daily life.
I suspect that whenever positive thinking doesn’t reign in your mind, there is something negative that’s being pushed on you and it ruins your normally upbeat demeanor. Such as people controlling your life telling you what you can and can’t have. Those artificial limits crush your enthusiasm. And then there’s the anti-social crowd you’re stuck with. No life’s not perfect.
Travelling brings that insight. When we travel, we’re free of the usual sour attitudes, negativity, and limitations that others foist upon us. We’re free of them and our mind can expand again. We come back from our vacation fresh, and hopefully aware of the changes we need to make. Because a vacation doesn’t create permanent changes. We can change our minds first.
To get your head straightened around, you have to go to the core — your values. That’s the seat of everything.
So what are the limiting values then that keep us from our full potential?
- Role playing
- Self-image – slights against self-esteem
- Unrealistic goals
- Hopelessness – feeling stuck
Some of these such as a dull relationship or marriage you can’t escape, but you can reimagine it — if it’s the right thing to do. A limited self-image is central to negativity — breaking free of traditional, pointless mores that don’t respect your rights, social roles you got stuck in, routines that make you feel secure, and all the other things you must conform to because your world says you’d better. Why are the people with least education the most fun? Pride is a double-edged sword and prejudice says others are different when they aren’t. Bad self-image? Where’d you get that from? Others.
If I missed any, let me know in the comments below.
Some rebellion might be necessary to break free. Certainly independence of thought is a requirement, because no one else really cares whether you’re happy. It’s all about you.
After a long winter, we’re starved for fun and good times. It doesn’t always happen right away — an odd time to feel the blues but it happens. This should be a good summer so if this is you, keep at it and keep expanding your world to meet new people, and spend time with people who like you. Being with people who like you makes a tremendous difference. Give them more reasons to like you and maybe you’ll have your best summer yet.
Where Happiness Resides
I think happiness resides in certain areas of the brain, the part that creates harmony, builds, and connects, however the whole brain is involved. People who like music and like to sing are generally happier. They’re using that part of the brain that harmonizes, connects and doesn’t recognize conflict and separation. Like a child, it only understands everything as being “as one.”
There seems to be a hard-wired connection between feelings of contentment and happiness. The primitive brain assumes that if you are content with your situation and lot in life, that you can relax, and the relaxation lets the endorphins flow. Human biology, sometimes more powerful than rational thought.
But, wouldn’t it be nice to feel good all the time? I know some people who have that nice frame of mind. I know, how can you be happy all the time? These people have some screws loose right?
My friends Colin and Katherine seem to always have a positive and level headed approach to life. They keep their ambitions in check and accept their losses. What happens to the ambitious? They either make it or they don’t?
My Aunt and Uncle are level headed and get through endless trials and tribulations, and they don’t have glamorous lives either. My high school track coach John Irving had a tremendous attitude and he influenced a lot of people. He believed in me as a pole vaulter when no one cared or would provide support. That’s the value of a positive attitude. These people are anchors for their family and friends. When the shitty attitude virus goes around, these people have double immunity.
There’s a few other people, whom I probably won’t know really well or enjoy their lovely disposition, but I happen to know they are wonderful. They don’t know it but their disposition has had big effect on me (not to say they aren’t crabby sometimes).
You Have to Be Available
Being available is probably the key not only to communication, it’s also the key to sharing good times together. Proximity is everything. You need to show up. Not showing up puts you in a negative frame of mind. If you’re unavailable, you’re making it impossible for others to do good things for you.
It’s amazing how being with someone we really like can affect our mood. There’s lots of “be yourself”, and “you’re all you need” advice going around, but in reality, some people just make us feel good and we want to be with them. If that upsets someone else, then they need to get in on this positivity thing before their own health and happiness disappear.
I found a couple of websites you might like to visit. They’ve got some great material, insights, and positivity building techniques to share.
The first is the positivity blog written by Henrik Edberg of Sweden. He talks about building social skills, relaxed productivity, and self-esteem. He even offers courses in this stuff.
The second one is www.inspire-me.co — To Reach New Heights of Happiness, Love and Freedom. The author is Lauren who offers articles on happiness, relationships, health and more. Start off with her article on how to stay young.
I’ve got one more I’ll share with you soon.