The Power of Fascination

Are you a fascinating person? Maybe you are and you don’t know it. But what is it about you that captivates others and makes them value you so highly that they are fixated on you?

farahfawcettUnderstanding who fascinates you might be a key to understanding yourself. Why do they fascinate you? What is it you want?

Fascination might happen somewhere between obsession and liking, but where the best balance is, well no one can answer that for sure. It might be situational, but for sure, everyone has their opinion.

Name some people who fascinate you.  Movie stars, athletes, singers, or politicians. Now that’s boring. But hey, I was fascinated as a boy by Farah Fawcett, the vacant blonde actress that Hollywood was pushing at the time. Silly boy controlled by the Hollywood machine. And that’s when women discovered the power of their hair. Guys could not get enough of Farah Fawcett.

Here’s some movies about people who are fascinated: What About Bob?, All About Steve, 10 and Fascination.

Fascination and the Child Inside You

Your own parents fascinated you and you looked in their eyes to find some gem of insight. Do they really care about me? What are they thinking and what do they care about? And they were fascinated by the innocence and wonder in your eyes and wishing they could have that again too. And who isn’t fascinated with a child’s personality and how fast they learn?

Picture courtesy of TheYesYouCan Plan It’s actually a short cut to “Persuasion”

Sally Hogshead

SallyHogsheadMeet Sally Hogshead who really believes in the emotion of fascination, that sense of captivation we all feel when we meet someone who captures our imagination or who seems to embody what we value most — it could be fame, fortune, power, beauty, brains, brawn, experience, accomplishments, talent, or just their personality. Are we wrong or right in what should fascinate us? Who determines what is right or wrong?

Why does it dominate our attention? Someone who fascinates us can make us almost obsessive in our attention to their every move and communication. Is it our mind our heart telling us something? Is fascination a fateful allure? There’s no doubt it is compelling.

Fascination is About Challenges

We can be fascinated by and with a lot of things — art, music, food, travel destinations, sports, nature, science and more.  Disabled people can be a source of fascination too. I played baseball with a guy that had one arm. He was one of our pitchers and wasn’t too bad. I was fascinated about how he could make the team with only one arm. My own struggles seemed inconsequential.

I’m watching a TV program right now about a man with no lower body who is climbing mount Kilmanjaro just with his arms. He would definitely be a source of fascination for what he is overcoming. People who overcome are fascinating.

Fascination might be the first step to mastery, happiness, and success. Without fascination, our real understanding and appreciation of someone or something is shallow. Fascination shows that we really are “into it” and without that we’re not likely to persuade anyone. Our fascination or interest gives us the power to connect and capture some of what we like in that person. It has survival value.

Fascination It is Healthy until Proven Otherwise

And fascination can happen without our conscious intervention. We all have self control however and we can intervene on any fascination that’s not healthy. Because fascination is actually an extension of ourselves, a point of focus for powerful feelings, we have to assume that it is good and healthy.

Fascinating Other People

Some believe fascination is central to being compelling and valued by others, and in being persuasive. It’s very doubtful that you would date or marry anyone who didn’t fascinate you. Fascination may be the magnet and the glue of all your relationships.

The website offers an in-depth look at this topic and it has a personality test to help you discover your personality type and what your key fascination triggers are. I haven’t taken the test yet, but I can see the value in this.

Captivate to Persuade

Whether we’re dating, going for a job interview, or trying to persuade someone, our ability to captivate them emotionally will probably determine our success more than the things we commonly think of.  Others may find us fascinating for other reasons than we think.

The 49 personality triggers of fascination

Is it accurate?  Your guess is as good as mine at this point, but I think you’re capable of reasoning it through and deciding whether it has merit.

When’s the last time you tried to be fascinating? I think we all do this but we’re not very effective at it.  We think we have to have everything going for us to be fascinating. We have to be “all that” to someone.  But you know, when you strike out with someone you want to date or you don’t get that great job, the thought that you’re not all that fascinating comes to mind. You have to step up your fascination level as part of your own unique value proposition.

Being fascinating simply means putting it all together for more impact. Sally Hogshead’s pursuit in this field is all about finding what’s fascinating about us and then finding a way to strategically focus it for maximum persuasive effect. So it’s not manipulative. You’re taking what you’ve got and making the most of it — maximizing your unique value proposition.

So what is the essence of fascination that by perfecting the process, we can become more powerful and successful with other people?  It’s in discovering other people’s values — the deepest wishes that drive them.

Good Communicators are a Key Business Asset

Can you imagine if your company’s employees all stopped exchanging information? How long would your business last? Would it thrive? Would your new business flood in? Not likely. This post is about how vital the free flow of information is and that the habit of free exchange is key to good business today.

Are you a good communicator? Then you’re probably successful, appreciated, and a valuable asset. Well, at least you should be. Nothing gets done without clear communication, whether it’s purposeful or not. If the value of good communication isn’t appreciated or even understood, then you have to marketing the idea to others. It’s up to you.

A good corporate policy is to incentivize good communication, not trivial but productive communication whereby employees help each other do a better job. The point of this post is that good communicators a great asset and a pleasure to work with and socialize with. But we all now people who yak in social situations yet offer no communication when they work. For a business, this is poison. If you’re launching a startup, you are probably desperate for information. That fact alone tells you how important information will be to your success. The information is already out there in people’s heads. Your skill at disabling their suppression and opening their mouths could well determine your business outcome.

Communication Cures All

Did you get your message across to your customers, business partner, or investors?  You don’t have to be eloquent to communicate well. People listen because they believe in your intent, not necessarily your words. In some environments, openness, transparency, and information exchange aren’t appreciated. These environments can be toxic for your health and your career.  Even one way communication only can be a health hazard, so finding ways to lubricate the give and take of information between people does have a dollar value. If you need a dollar value.

When marriages break down, friendships end, and businesses go under, it isn’t because of conflict. Conflict exists everywhere. Bad things happen because information was stopped. When a person makes the initial decision to withhold important information, they start a cascade of bad events.  If you’re doing a forensic examination, you can trace it all back to one key point in time where somebody decided to clam up. That’s when opportunities vanish, options disappear, confidence wanes, rhetoric replaces conversation, and trust is gone.

As I mentioned in another post on trust, good communication comes from openness, transparency, shared purpose, and other things. I’ve included 7 key parameters of good communication below.

Found on  |  Cyrus Yung 

Withholding Information Destroys Business

Old School business operated on the “need to know” basis and everyone played their cards close to the chest. Today, that concept is turned on its head.  Now, no one trusts someone who can’t be open, transparent and generous with information. We expect it. Can you imagine if digital information flow was stopped? It would bring our whole society down and we’d all be very angry.  Information is a currency in business and in your personal life.

In any personal relationship, trust evolves from information exchange. Basically, others tell you what you need to know. You tell others because you care. Information flow is the give and take that is the glue of relationships. If anyone tampers with that flow, trouble begins.  As long as we have good information, we can make good decisions and our behaviour is appropriate.

But when communication is thwarted, the physiology of relationships begins to show signs of decay.  First opportunities disappear, then frustration builds, and finally conflicts that were ignored become dominant. Sometimes people withhold information as an attempt to wield power. You’ve seen plenty of corporations withhold info and demand money for it. They lost customers and took a beating in social media.

Don’t Bet the Farm if They’re Not Forthcoming

If you’re putting your house up for collateral or leaving one business opportunity for another, you want to be sure the people you’re involved with are open and honest = good communicators. As long as you can see everything in front of you, you might be okay. But if things are hidden, which they often are, you’re in for  some upsets.

There is only one Red Flag to be concerned with when you’re assessing a new employee, business partner or personal relationship. And that is a lack of communication. Have your prospective business partner do a personality test and zoom in on the communication section. Take a good look at their social media pages too. References won’t be too reliable because they’re pre-manufactured. Good people are spontaneous and want the free flow of information.

They’re not premeditated. They’re almost childlike in their openness and parlance. This is what you should respect because business and life are so silky smooth with them. They make life easy and you’ll be more profitable with them rather than the dead end type who is playing poker at your expense.

7 Keys to Good Communication

  1. transparency
  2. generosity
  3. consistency
  4. spontaneity
  5. confidence
  6. openness
  7. give and take

If the person you’re going to do business with has all these positive traits, you can get onto the strategy and tasks needed to build success. They may have more or less desire, drive, skills and energy than you, but they’re a great asset while they’re working with you. Enjoy the time you have with them and make the most of it.

The Go Giver — Success Through Giving – Personal and Business Improvement

I discovered an excellent book that you’d be wise to read too. It’s called the Go-Giver, A little story about a powerful business idea.

giverIt’s about turning an old idea on its head; that being a go-getter, is really not the way to a better life. The book’s premise is that giving is the ultimate principle that should guide your life. The Go-Giver focuses on other people and creating value for them.

The authors create an interesting story about an ambitious young man, a typical hard fighting go-getter who is frustrated about his inability to get ahead. He meets some older people who have been through these life events, and of course, impart their wisdom to him via daily exercises.

Here are the Laws of Stratospheric success discussed:

1.    The law of value Your true worth is determined by how much more you give in value than you take in payment

2.   The law of compensation Your income is determined by how many people you serve and how well you serve them

3.   The law of influence Your influence is determined by how abundantly you place other people’s interests first

4.   The law of authenticity The most valuable gift you have to offer is yourself

5.   The law of receptivity The key to effective giving is to stay open to receiving — if you listen and empathize with them, they’ll want to give to you


The idea of giving is an old one, but few take it to heart. The authors don’t really touch on the key point, that if you have no one to give to, your good will means nothing.  A business person/entrepreneur needs a prospect to give to and create value for. Marketers call it “creating a customer.”

The Law of Compensation: Your income is determined by how many people you serve and how well you serve them. While the law of value discusses the value you provide, #2 shows you that to be well compensated for the value you provide, you do so by touching the lives of a lot of people.

It IS all about relationships and the key task is to find the right people (relationships) to give to.  It’s a discovery process to find the right people (your tribe) and then convince them to accept your great value.

So, the key to success isn’t just generating value, because your competitors/rivals could create that value. The key is to reach them (Twitter, Blog, Linkedin), have the value ready to deliver and convince them that your value is the best available, and a bargain at that.  Access the masses, and build your tribe.

Since relationships are reciprocal, you also have to ask yourself, whether you’re open to accept the value others want to give you? If you don’t accept others input, listen, and even block other’s generosity to you, you’re killing your own opportunities. Let others do good for you by showing you respect them, and by listening to them.

Go-Givers is very inspirational and a nice read. Get a copy, you’ll like it.

Definition of Business Development

A New Look at Biz Dev

Let’s look at some new, enlivening and actionable definitions  of Biz Dev. Defining creates a solid foundation for everything you’re about to do as an entrepreneur.

I’m excited to bring you this new definition; views, insights, and news about this new profession. There’s a growing number of people claiming to be business development professionals, but there’s not much agreement on a definition of this field. And some are just trying to hijack the name as another sales term. That’s not nice.

What is Business Development?

Found on modernmarketerKelly Nodwell

A Definition from Business development is the creation of long-term value for an organization from customers, markets and relationships.  

A VP of business development helps discover and refine a company’s vision and mission statement along with the unique value proposition and how the whole company participates in fulfilling those. He or she is responsible for discovering ways to produce value for customers and then make it happen. He or she is a market researcher, intrapreneur, content producer, strategist, communicator, evangelist, integrator and harmonizer of business activities which focus on delivering value to customers.

I like marketing, but I’m not as enthusiastic about sales, yet I’m very interested in creating new business.  With my own company previously, I dabbled in this new approach to creating business. I had an idea I needed to do pre sales, but I wasn’t aware that it was called biz dev and that I wasn’t doing it well.

I’m sure you’ll learn as much as me if you tune in regularly. So bookmark this blog and add it your blog roll. You might as well tweet the heck out of it too!

There’s a scarcity of books and material on this topic. So why do we have business development now? I’m not sure, but I would suggest that due to how virtual our lives are becoming that sales is dying as a marketing tool. Sales just lacks lustre and people have stopped trusting it.

That’s not to say that the interpersonal contact with customers isn’t important. It is essential, particularly with B2B but the old school sales techniques that I’m sure you’re more than familiar with, customers find repulsive. Whoever your salespeople are, they have  to communicate well their understanding of the client’s business and needs, build trust, and encourage the client to follow their vision. Every customer needs a little encouragement to sign the deal. Sales people are part cheerleaders too.

However, salespeople can’t sell something that isn’t there. The can only sell the value your business can generate.There’s nothing worse than launching a relationship with customers and being focused on sales, instead of discovering the customer’s true needs.

Business development takes the accent off of sales and onto the relationship between buyer and seller.“But that’s not fair, our job is to make money and sell them something.” No, your job is to uncover their real need and reveal your interest in resolving it. If you’ve done your initial prospect research and your networking, then you’re spending your time with the right prospect. Your caring, non-greedy approach will impress them. Why would they choose anyone else?The better you plan and conduct your new business development, the less selling you’ll have to do.

The 9 Elements of New business Discovery

New Business Discovery Process

  1. Market Research (where is the pool of prospective customers and what is their need)
  2. Unique Value Proposition (describe what your UVP is, and how vital that value is to your prospects)
  3. Brand Image (what is your brand image statement based on your UVP)
  4. Product/service Components (how do pieces assemble to create the whole
  5. Content Strategy (what do you offer for free that entices them and how does your content communicate your business as the right match)
  6. Content Development (who will create the product/service, and what is the gap between what they need and what you can deliver)
  7. Marketing Communications (what is the ideal way to reach your target prospect and what will you say in each media that makes them commit to you)
  8. Sustainability (how will continue to add unbeatable value)
  9. Profit (how do you maximize revenue/expense to generate the maximum value from customers

Now, that you understand why it’s needed, it’s time to get into the basics of business development strategy.

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